Sura 8

The Wisdom of Slowing Down

At this point, we can see how a person who starts by trying to fix one problem can end up creating another.

They lose a relationship and seek another one to stop the pain. They enter the new relationship before understanding themselves. They make promises they are not ready to keep, become attached to someone they barely know, or hurt someone who genuinely cares about them.

Then, when the temporary comfort disappears, they find themselves facing another emotional breakdown.

The problem they wanted to fix has become even bigger.

And this is why I believe one of the wisest things a person can do during a relationship breakdown is to slow down.

Do not rush to replace someone.

Do not rush to prove that you can live without them by finding someone else.

Do not rush to make a permanent decision simply because you cannot tolerate the temporary pain you are experiencing.

Take a breath.

Give yourself time to understand what happened. Seek advice from people who are wise, honest, and genuinely concerned about your well-being. Not everyone who gives advice has the wisdom to guide you, and not every piece of advice is worth following.

Some people will encourage you to act out of anger. Others will tell you to ignore your feelings. Some will push you into another relationship before you are ready. Others may project their own painful experiences onto your situation.

Choose carefully whose advice you accept.

And remember that you can be emotionally hurt without being incapable of making good decisions. The goal is not to wait until you feel nothing. The goal is to become honest enough with yourself to recognize when your pain is influencing your choices.

Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is sit with your feelings without immediately trying to make them disappear.

You can miss someone without contacting them.

You can love someone without returning to an unhealthy relationship.

You can regret your mistakes without begging someone to forgive you.

You can accept that a relationship has ended without immediately finding another person to fill the space it left behind.

And you can receive support from others without making them responsible for your happiness.

These are not easy things to do. But learning to do them can prevent one painful experience from becoming the beginning of many others.